::Reflections::

I have not been updating my blog here at all.whatsoever. Only because I recently started a new blog that involves everything in my life that constantly is on my mind. I think I am going to still keep this one for personal reasons because I don't really want my family/ personal things going to the whole entire world!

Greatest snapshot ever for September 11th.

I have been thinking a lot about life after September 11th, especially this year for some reason. From the day it happened, it has always been such a reflecting day for me, at least. This year it kinda hit me hard. I don't know if it because of having my little boy now or if I am still hormonal. I don't know! But tears have weld up in my eyes which have flowed down my cheeks. I feel more videos have been coming out about the day it happened which have been flowing out all over the television. Snippets of people video taping and taking pictures have been almost nerve wrecking and disturbing to even watch. Some had me thinking, what were these people thinking? What was going on in the minds of those stuck in the towers? Would I have jumped or dealt with being stuck in the top levels? Gosh, if I saw the plane coming towards me what what I do? If I was stuck in the planes, what would I do? Seriously, all these thoughts were coming to my mind about this. Almost disturbing to think that people were probably thinking and reacting fast to these very questions. This is almost the reason why I don't like going to that day because of how depressing it really is.

As I was listening to the wives/husbands/government stories of phone calls, the thoughts of those loved ones that were lost, hit me like a ton of bricks this time around. I think I almost lost it. I did not know of anyone personally who did lose a loved one from this, that I know of, but I do know how emotionally hard it must have been. It made me think of my husband. How such a devoted man he is to any task he is given. I thought of all the greatest qualities of his role as a fantastic father and husband he has been. ( I feel like a debbie downer with this part...) I then was thinking that at an instant for some, that special person was all the sudden gone. No goodbyes as wanted, no hugs, no kiss or last smile. For some, it was terror over the phone with tears. The last way of wanting to say goodbye. That is when I felt like the bricks struck my face. What would I have done?

I was in Utah at my grandparents house at the time while all the shows were on. (and trust me, I was kinda freakin out that I was leaving the next day, on a plane, by myself with my child going home). My grandmother has picture up all over of family and of one of our temples.

I instantly thought of my marriage to my husband. I thought of how grateful I am for the temple blessings and being sealed eternally to him & my family. I was thinking if I was in the shoes were these strong women were who lost their loved ones from such an unexpected and unfortunate event, having those feelings of frustration, sorrow, grief & pain. Thankfully for seeing that picture, it made thinking those feelings pass me by. Trust me, I still would have those hard feelings, but having the gospel and that knowledge of being eternally with my husband, lightens that heavy feeling off. Unfortunately, sometimes in times like this is when you do reflect, but how important I feel it is to do so in life. I am so grateful for my life, even during the hard times. I feel that is when I learn the most...unfortunately. I am grateful for my Savior and all the sacrifices he has gone through for each of us and for his example of love and forgiveness. I am indeed grateful for my family and the temples and having that special opportunity of being sealed to my one and only.

(wowza, long one. Haven't done this forever)!!

4th of July. 2011

There is a first for everything- this year for us is a big one. A baby. With that, our holidays are not just two of us anymore, it is three now. So if a baby cries and it happens to be mine, I HAVE to take care of the noise now! ...i know, that sounded pretty awful. It was a hot one this year. Thankfully, we went to my sisters house afterwards and had a fabulous cookout and cooled off in the pool. Of course, Karsty loved it but got hot, tired and crabby so ended up sleeping...yes..

We always attend the Menomonee Falls parade with my in-laws and the the Cedarburg parade with my family. Both are extremely good and fun to go to. Although, Toby Keith filmed part of his new music video at the Cedarburg one, interesting and cool...But too bad I am not too huge on country music. Hope you all had a fabulous one, even though I am late and almost to stinkin LABOR DAY, where has the time gone? Here are just a few snap shots we got. Happy summer!

...i take it back, only two pics.

First trip- Up North

Ah. The north woods of Wisconsin. One word sums it up. LOVE (big time- so may 3 words). We had such a fun time up there. The water, the sun, the trees, the air, the food, the games, and I think I could keep going. I even enjoy going to the Walmart up there, crazzzzzy! (Not hating on walliemart or anything). My great-grandparents bought this small northern woods cabin in the early 40's and for all of my family, I think you all could attest, what a blessing it is to have. I honestly think if there is a year I wouldn't be able to come, I would cry, I mean bawl- if I couldn't make it. I, personally have been going for 24 years of my life. My dad since he was a newborn, my grandpa, oh man- we won't even go that far back. But the amazing thing is, this journal they kept when they first had this small log cabin....and I mean small. 2 bedrooms, one teensie bathroom which the dining area is straight out from there. Kitchen probably is probably less than a 10x10, living room, oh geez. I don't even know. Small is the wurd. People probably boating past it probably think it could only fit a family of 4 but oh no. It has aquired much more people than that! What great memories though I have of it. Even though we are all snuggled, I think that is what makes it quite honestly. (anyone else agree?)

One of my favorite things pulling up to the drive way of the cabin- I think I get the kid jitters- like opening gifts from Santa. It is just trees upon trees and it isn't a straight shot, there is a little drive to get there. Not like at home where, bing bang boom your in your house. I always look forward to it. When we leave it, I do...i am embarrassed...shed a little tear. Can any other family member say yes too?

So this year, was quite an interesting time for me especially. I honestly never thought that I would be bringing one of my own

off springs to this special place that I hold dear to my heart. Ben and I were so excited driving up this time, although it did delay us just a little bit this time around. We were so excited to be bringing our little bundle of joy up to this place we have close memories too **SIDE NOTE*** (so our cabin we are on is a lake. There was a channel that connected to this other lake in back of us we always went to. Unfortunately, that channel is all dried up now. But when Benjamin and I first started to date, the cabin was clearly brought up amid our conversations. My husband couldn't believe what lake

we were on because his grandfather years back bought a cabin on that opposite lake of ours! So weird, he would always be visiting our side, I would be on his. So did we ever cross paths during our toddler years? Probably so!). So clearly, we both have special feelings up there.

So it was H.O.T when we were there. I mean really hot. 90-100 degrees. It has no air condition. NADA. We had 3-4 fans running, cool packs sometimes...but that is what makes it fun, right? Luckily we had the lake to depend on. Speaking of, Karsten just loved that water. I think he could have swimmed and kicked all day. He loves his baths a ton so I think since there was this great big land of water, he was livin the baby dream. I have wrote way to long so here are some pictures of our lovely days up nor der. Enjoy...as much as I do. And pictures are courtesy of my dear husband...I will give him his credit on them.

4..5...6 Months already!

wow! I have been slacking terribly!! 3 months later and here I am updating on my little buggaboo!

He has been growing, growing and growing. I think it's time for a highchair already, bumbo= scary now. Between arching his back and kicking, it is time :( 6 month check up- He was 28 1/4 for height and 17 lbs. 1 oz for weight. So just like his daddy, long and skeenie. His giggles, cries, random yelps, smiles and kicking his feet 100 mph, makes us feel like some pretty proud parents. We just love this little bugga way to much. How could you not? I often think of those crazy people who are are awful (cough, cough- casey anthony) to their kids thinking they are awfully messed up!

On a good note, here is. Our little Karsty Coo!...will do the whole month pic. update thing later...won't lie. Didn't have too much time to make it happen.

Loves:

-tummy time...finally!

-eating more adult food blended than baby food

- water bottles

- playing in the water

- reading books to him

- snuggling

- Playing peek-a-b00

- Singing to him...especially wheel on the bus.

- His squeaky toes

- his loud singing toys- gah

- loves this: I will lay on my back and he will lay on his tummy on top of me and I would bring his legs up the air. That gets a kick outta me with his laughs!

- when daddy gets home from work. You can see the smile when he walks in the door=priceless

Dislikes

- really loud noises

- starting to get fussy before he knows he has got to go to bed

- not getting his food asap

New Page!

Hey guys! So figured out there are things called pages on the wonderful world of blogging. Probably old news to some but new to me! Started a page for random pics of Karsten and of our wedding since I didn't post really much. I just threw some in as of right now, can only do so much in one day with having a kid! I will be adding some hair tips/styles/products that have been my top...mostly Aveda, sorry guys!,

To get to it: Right underneath the big picture of him and the owl hat, there is a a home button and then it says next to it Karsty Pics, etc, click on any of those buttons and they should pop right up. Check back on those pages for more updates!

::3 Month Check-up::

My little peanut is already 3 months!!!! My goodness, he is getting way way way to big, it is almost depressing! Unfortunately, this little nugget acquired a bad cold and cough during that time, poor Karsty :(

Here have been his favorite things so far:

- Playing on the play mat

- Reaching for his crazy colored, dangling toys...especially this googly-eyed parrot

- Watching movies believe it or not- all eyes on t.v. and Iphone w

hen we play one

( Shaun the Sheep in particular)

- Talking, talking, talking- I will make noises and he has been trying to mimic me, it is so adorable!

- Speaking of mimic, trying to stick out his tongue

- Grabbing things lately

- Being snuggled

- EATING

- Still loving tubby time!

Not so much fun:

- Getting out of the tub

- Getting bum changed

- Tummy time

- Being ignored...haha that sounded terrible but if Ben and I are in the kitchen cooking, we will place him on his play mat and he will play for a while then once he notices no one is around, someone gets a little bit fussy.

Here are the changes since the 3 months now..pics are a little dark..

Cookbooks.Pictures.Recipes=Deliciousness

I do not know about any of you guys, but for me, I loovvee to cook....when I can. I love trying out some new recipes that we have never had...like I said when I have the time...because having the same old gets reallly old for me. Here is the only problem...I have cookbooks. Some of those cookbooks contain no pictures for recipes ( I am a visual type of gal)...I can't cook a recipe that doesn't contain a picture. End of story, I don't know why. I try to read the recipe but I just start getting irritated at the person whoever wrote the recipe thinking, "why don't they have a flippin pic??" So then I keep paging through until I find a picture with a delicious recipe. Ridiculous? I think so, but that is just how I am !

So going back about 2 Christmases ago, my amazing hubby's grandma, who we call Gigi, gave us this really awesome cookbook with tons and tons of recipes. I was real excited to use it but i was hoping there would be tons of pics for me to count on! I opened it and wahla! No joke, E.V.E.R.Y. recipe had a PICTURE!! So I try cooking with this one a lot- If you don't have it, get it. There are some real cultural so to say recipes that some people make be all grossed out on, but i love those kinds! So here is my cookbook.my bible.

:: 2 Month Update ::

...3 weeks here, toddler isn't he?


My little peanut...reached the 2 month mark, already!! The first month, was basically what a newborn does best...SLEEP, eat and you know the rest. Now his second month has been quite entertaining too. Here are are few things our little karsty loves:

- Being talked to which results in nothing but smiles!
- Making noises with your mouth
- Playing on his play mat
- EATING
- taking baths
- His duck toy that jingles and his horse toy (full of color might I add)
- Car rides and his car seat
- Sleeping with his arms up
- S.N.U.G.G.L.I.N.G

...he does NOT like getting his bum changed, getting out of the tub...results is this picture..that is for certain.

L.O.V.E........these faces :)

.|. Cherishing the moments .|.

I started work...about 3 weeks ago already! It is nice to get out and do one thing I love which is hair and it is also nice to get out and communicate with adults. ( Sometimes that crying can getcha)!

I had a brief 5 min. discussion with one of my bosses about kids and what not. I was just telling her about Karsten and for one, how stinking A-dorable he really is. Then, the topic of his crying came up and how frustrating it really gets me! My husband always tells me to relax, he still is a little new baby and he can't help it. Which yes, I'll admit it, my husband is right. So that reminder really helps. But sometimes my husband isn't always there to remind me, so of course, silly old me starts to get frustrated once he keeps crying for over a minute. Karsten really is a good little baby and cries for the typical- milk & dirty bums- but at times he will just cry cry cry and that's were my brain goes AHH!!!!!! Well back to the discussion with my one boss....she was talking about her little girl and how much she loves her age and the discussions she with her and how time goes by fast. Seeing that my little nieces and nephew turn 6 soon, makes me want to cry, so I kinda get how it does go.
Having my own kid, clearly is a smidge different. So I was telling her my frustration and she then said how her mom has always said to cherish the moments with kids, you never get them back. It quickly made me think of my time with my kid and as hard as it is, to even cherish the moments of him just bawling, I really do need to cherish those. They are quite annoying/ obnoxious, ect. but I know one day I will look back wishing that Karsten was back to being as young as he is now. So to all you mothers out there having a little bit of a hard time like me, trying to cherish those little fun/ cute/ frustrating/ flustering moments, you won't ever get those sweet moments back.

{: Life is sweet :}

Isn't this so precious? Happy 90th Birthday Gramps, we love you!!

:<:... the other costly addition to the family... :>:

So as most of you know, my husband is ObSeSsEd with anything that is German...especially the cars from there, Porsche- Mercedes- Audi-Volkswagen- BMW, etc. you name it! (but lets face it, what man isn't??) Well, no joke his whole family owns Vdubs...and I am not over exaggerating. Dad, sisters, grandma, boyfriends its quite hilarious. Clearly all my husband has had was VW his whole life...a jetta, golf and about 2 years ago he bought a Rabbit. This kid cracks me up...seriously.

Now as for me, I grew up with the Chinese/ Japanese cars...HONDAS. Was my husband okay with this? For the most part. But, I had a 3 year lease with a 2008 Honda Civic that I just turned in and my husband was quite excited. He has been looking and looking since last year knowing this and finally, waaaalaaa (it really didn't go waalaaa) BUT his dream came true. I am now a vdubber! (yikes...) I will say I absolutely love love love this car! It's a fast one and all I did was laugh when I first drove it because it was quite a change. So here "she" is...




WARNING!!! this car is sassy and fast

: Sleepy Baby:

This is how my little peanut has been sleeping lately...it cracks.me.up! I almost sometimes wonder if this is how he would sleep when he was still in the tum?

|:| Little Boys and Monsters |:|

Seeing that for the last few days my little boy has been a little bit of a monster, i find this posting a little bit fit for him! I think he has been a little bit, lets say, backed up...poor kid! But this really doesn't have anything to do with him. I have found I have a little new obsession that is adorable for my boy and it has been monsters. They have these AdOrAbLe slippers (kinda more dinosaur like) at babygap that I so wanted to buy, but the cost for shipping was more than the slippers itself so I passed...unfortunately. They just crack me up...seriously.


One more thing....
I have been dying for quite sometime to get this book too...it looks so stinking cute.

::Newby Mom on board::

I cannot believe I am a mother!! Can I say I absolutely LOVE IT! He is starting to get fussy before he goes to bed and it makes me irritated but still, I love it. I feel so incredibly blessed to have this child, seriously. He is so cute.

Here is the play by play of what happened (sorry if you get bored). So my due date was February 9th...I had gestational diabetus (that is how I say it, it makes me laugh), so my OB told me I can't go too far in risk of having a huge baby. So I thought, yes! Perfect, I won't be going a week late then. Well, I had a check up before my due date which was the 8th, and I was still only 75% effaced and 1.5 dilation...that was going for 3 weeks! So he said, let's make an appointment on the 14th...yup valentine's day...and if nothing happens, we will induce you that day and you will have a baby by the 15th. So I was thinking you know, going in and starting everything in the afternoon but nope. I had my appointment around 2 and still same everything so he said, we will see you tonight. I said what do you mean tonight? He said you will go to the birthing center at 10:00 P.M. I wanted to freak at that point...are you kidding me, 10 at night? I knew it was going to be a longggg labor at that point.

So we got in, things started around 11:00 P.M. I clearly couldn't sleep at all! My husband on the other hand...he could. My mom came at 2:00 A.M...she is such a champ, I love her. I was feeling contractions for about 2 hours but luckily my mom came in time because I was quietly yelling for my husband and which all i heard was snoring on his end, that little turd! But he eventually woke up fast, but my amazing mom was there to help me get through them too. They really couldn't do anything at that point because I wasn't really dilated or effaced enough. So what do they do? They gave my nubain...which knocked me out instantly for only about a hour or so. I could still sorta feel contractions, but not the extreme, my goodness! My doctor wasn't coming in until 7:30 that morning, but had a feeling he would be running behind so he came around 8ish but I could feel E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G from about 4:30-5:00 to about 9, which at that time, I was fine enough to get the epidural!! Wahoo!! I honestly cried at one point when I had a contraction...but funny thing is, I really don't remember! I guess I was really goofy and talkative during everything, which surprises me. I do remember asking my anesthesiologists, "does this really hurt?" haha his response was priceless, "not really, just think of it as a tiger bite"! Thanks!! Then bing, bang boom he was done and all it felt like was a mosquito bite! ( he lied, he admitted). My doctor came shortly after, broke my water around 10 and things started to progress a lot more rapid. By like, i think, 1 he said I was dilated to 9+ and I'll start pushing at 2! I couldn't believe it. I was kinda freakin at that point. So 2:00 came, pushed for a hour and I love my husband. He kept giving and getting me ice chips, holding my hand and helping, he is an amazing husband.. and wabamm! My little Karsten was born at 3:15 P.M. weighing a waaappping 9 lbs. 1 oz and 20 inches long. My labor was 16 hours long, but it did go really fast when I think about it. My nurses were awesome, seriously. I couldn't have asked for such an awesome delivery experience and recovery there.

When they put my little guy on my chest after he was out, I started bawling. First off, I didn't know how the heck I pushed this thing out of me, and secondly, I couldn't believe how blessed Ben and I was to have this adorable, healthy baby boy. He had his big big eyes just open and crying and honestly, I felt all the noise had around us had vanished almost and it felt like it was just my husband, me and our little guy together in our room. It was peaceful amidst all the nurses and everything getting things to get our guy cleaned. I love every minuet with my baby, even when he fusses and gets all his clothes and everything dirty from bathroom mishaps. Because at the end of the day, this is what I get to fall asleep to and wake up to every day. We love you little Karsten!! (or as my sister says, Karsty Coo...haha poor kid)!

...I'll have actual pictures at the hospital up soon!

~Owl Obsession~

So for some time I have had this owl obsession, and I don't know why (hence the cute layout I have now). When we found out we were expecting, I was looking at bedding last year and I really wanted to do the whole owl theme and have those really cute vinyl wall stickers...which is another picture posted too. They had this awesome bedding from a place we registered at. Unfortunately, I have this husband who is OBSESSED with cars, Volkswagen's in particular, and when we found out we were having a boy, I just let him do the car thing. Not a big deal. I am currently waiting for this adorable hat to arrive and we will be doing some fun photos of our little peanut in this hat. Here is a preview of the hat without him in it and I can't wait. Go to etsy, I am addicted.

Karsten...I have a feeling he is going to be like his daddy...

I cannot believe I am almost due...it almost scares me! Everyone has asked how my pregnancy has been and so far, not terrible but not the best feeling either. Dealing with lovely sharp pains and back pains, yaouchhh! 39 weeks now which means next week is the big week for us- just crossing our fingers he comes at least a few days earlier! Had our check-up yesterday and only dilated at 1.5 centimeters which can mean great or crap, he won't be coming out anytime soon, you just never know! Last night was quite the night, my whole belly looked like a tidal wave! I will say the last 4 weeks of movement have been the most uncomfortable. I don't know how he is able to move around anymore! We just can't wait for our nugget to come out...I still every morning walk into his little bedroom and just can't believe I am going to be a mom. It already is the best feeling to think about so I can't imagine what it will be like when he is in our arms. I haven't really posted any pictures of me up yet but here is one at 37 weeks. I never took beginning stages because there is nothing really to look at!